J’ai envie de danser

Posté par ~AgentMey-58658 le 3 mars 2008 qui était d'humeur Curieuse


Je l’entends cette petite musique. Cette mélodie à la fois familière et nouvelle à chaque fois qui se met à résonner. D’abord, c’est juste un battement. Un bruit sourd et régulier qui rythme le moment puis la cadence augmente, les instruments se mettent à jouer.

 

Et je me demande si je dois l’écouter.

 

Ce n’est pas une chanson facile à danser. Elle est longue, exigeante, changeante, incertaine. On peut s’en émerveiller mais parfois aussi être blessé. Parfois on se lance et plus tard on regrette d’être entré dans la danse. Parfois on s’y lance à contrecœur et on regrette amèrement son erreur. Parfois on s’y lance à corps perdu et jusqu’à ce qu’on en puisse plus.

 

Mais il y a ces fois où l’on accepte de ne pas mener la danse.
On se laisse porter, on se rapproche, on chavire pas à pas avant de s’éloigner d’une pirouette.
On se rattrape et enfin on s’abandonne.

 

 


Alors  même si j’ai peur de trébucher, cette fois,j’ai envie de danser.

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Because I have faith ...

Posté par ~AgentMey-58658 le 5 novembre 2007 qui était d'humeur Heureuse

One day, you appeared into my life....

Nice, funny, strange and a bit bold, you made me laugh, you listened to me, you were just so .... there.


But i resisted.

i didn't believe in you
I didn't believe in me
i didn't believe that anything good could happen to me.



But you held on....
You kept coming, you kept calling, you kept holding on even when I was acting awfully toward you, even when I was seeing other people thant you, even when I wouldn't even hold to myself...

You held on.
So one day, I gave you a chance, i gave myself a chance, i just closed my eyes and waited for the worst to happen.

But it didn't and it still hasn't

Why?


I'm not asking myself why nothing wrong has happened...... As time goes by, i finally realised that you may be eventually be good for me and that I am not motionally disabled.... You can make me happy because you are intelligent, funny, open-minded, ambitious, realistic and most of all, you never take yourself seriously.


So why did i think I couldn't handle it?

Let's just say experience.... The details are unimportant but since my last big love story ended up, i met a lot of assholes if you excuse my french.
i met men that either were using my as a crutch, a life coach for their depression, or were lying to me just to get me to sleep with them ....
(i'm not giving names but hey guys, you know who you are.....)

But here you come all aimless and innocent (or maybe not but unguilty of whatever i was scared of) and why did it work ?


Why did I give it a chance ?
Why did I finally trust another man?
Why did I eventually let myself go?


Because I have faith.
I have faith in the fact that God or some higher power loves me and doesn't want me to stay alone hiding from fear
I have faith in the fact that I am a strong, beautiful and intellingent woman who deserves hapiness
I have faith that someday I will meet the guy that would see me the way I wanna be seen or even see me in a way I'll never see myself

And even if it's not you, I must try even though I could get hurt because I have faith in the fact that I have to try.


Just because I have faith.....

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